Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
