I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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