hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
