I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
