how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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