Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
