I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
