I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize