I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
