Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
