Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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