i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
