he wants to bone in the snuggie
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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