Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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