if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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