I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
