porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
