I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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