a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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