i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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