What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
