so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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