wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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