I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize