I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
