So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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