I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
