Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
