you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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