Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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