A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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