I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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