my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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