thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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