based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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