someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
