I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Come on in and take your pants off
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