I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
