I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
