Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
