DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I want her autograph on my taint
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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