doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
