Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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