i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
