Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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