let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
