alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
