I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
