margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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