I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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