I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
