What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
