Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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