We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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