How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
