I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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