I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
