She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Enjoy the penises
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
