Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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