Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
