xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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