btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
