sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
