I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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