Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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