$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
