The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
