Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
